Does Friends with Benefits Work? [3 MAJOR PROBLEMS]

Photo: Couple in bed eating pizza

Photo: Couple in bed eating pizza

Does friends with benefits work? Sometimes it can. Friends with benefits sound great on paper. I mean you’re already friends. If it's a "one-time" fling than you're fine. But if you’re calling your FWB every Friday night that's dangerous territory. Sometimes we jump into friends with benefits to not get hurt. Since it’s not a real relationship. At its core, it’s still a situation between two or more people. How you define a relationship is up to you. Regardless, makes sure you’re on the same page. Do not jump into friends with benefits to avoid the real world and getting your feelings hurt. A FWB breakup can hurt as much if not more.

Here are some problems with friends with benefits:

1. Developing Feelings

People in FWB love to say quotes like, "It’s great because we’re friends and there’s no drama." That's always in the beginning stage when they're defending their choice. Sex is intimate and the more you care for a person the better it is. But this means feelings can start to grow. Which is natural. But it’s hard to justify feelings of jealousy when you are only FWB. Remember if you’re doing relationship activities - hanging out, going to the movies, and having sex. It makes for some blurred lines. Even if you are the strong person in the FWB. It doesn't mean that the other person isn't catching feelings for you. It’s good to keep an eye on the FWB and have an end date so you avoid this from happening.

2. Close yourself off from Dating

If you’re out there dating. It’s hard to put in the effort when you know you have a BFF you can hang and have sex with. You’re closing yourself off from meeting "the one" because you already have a person to spend time with. If you’re not looking for a relationship that's fine. But if you would like to find a person to call your partner. Then remember a FWB will take up your time. Which takes away time from dating and seeing what's out there. When you’re wrapped up in someone else’s world you don’t notice the people that might be open to offering you the world. Don’t waste your time and energy in a FWB when you know you want more.

3. Good chance of losing the Friendship

Once you cross over to friends with benefits. Your friendship has changed. How can you tell it’s changed. Think of it this way. If that person meets someone and gets in a relationship. Their new partner is not going to view you as “their friend” because you were intimate. You are now an "ex." That’s already different than most friendships. When it’s time to move on from the FWB someone could get their feelings hurt. And it could be from the friendship dynamic changing. When jumping in a FWB ask yourself if you’re willing to lose a friend if this doesn’t work out. This is subjective to you and the friendship. Some people have been friends since childhood. While others have been friends for a few semesters of college. You have to decide if the friendship matters that much.

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